Laziness and Reason...then Ozymandias. =]

I've learned a lot of things. I've figured out a lot of those things on my own. I could do anything. I could know anything...everything, even. That's actually one of the only things I want in life. Call me arrogant, whatever you will...I just call it honesty. I have more potential than anyone can realize. And what do I do with it?

Nothing.

I don't have any ambition. It's all due to my potential, my previous knowledge. I was raised without having a great challenge...for me, at least. I was raised knowing things many years above my level. I'm a prodigy, but I have nothing to show for it. That's because I don't want to.

I know all of these things I could be doing, and I know exactly how I would do them. The only thing I am lacking in my plans is a purpose. Why should I? What is the reason behind the plan? If you ask me about anything I do, or have done, I will have a reason. I don't do anything without a reason. If there was no obvious reason, I find a reason. That's how I live. Nowadays, I just go with the flow. I do what my body does, but think what my mind thinks. My body goes on autopilot, my mind thinks over every aspect of anything imaginable as soon as it gets a chance, planning out plans that will never follow through. Very rarely does my mind encourage my body to actually become involved with one of these fully-processed thoughts. I don't have a reason.

I guess it all comes back to my own selfishness. I'm very selfish, but at least I admit it. If you actually follow this blog, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about...I don't see how these things would fully benefit me personally. I would love to know absolutely everything. It may sound impossible, but oh well, I'll try. The greatest part about it is...all I have to do is think about it, and I know it. But there you go: I would love to know absolutely everything. But then, what would I use it for? I would have spent my whole life learning everything, except for the one thing you can only know when you die. And then once I'm dead, this world will no longer concern me. So what do I get out of helping with the future? My name to be remembered until they forget about me? Who really cares? I don't want to be known. I want to be alone, except for a group of close friends. I guess it all comes down to my hatred of mankind...They're thoughts, actions, everything as a whole. There are honestly very few people I could stand knowing forever. Human nature is just so...horrible. Hypocritical. People (as a whole) are extremely stupid.

Anyway, on to the other part of this title: Ozymandias. Not Rameses II, not the sonnet...but the character in Watchmen. Adrian Veidt. In Watchmen, he was said to be "The smartest man alive," but also fast enough to catch a bullet. If you've never seen the ending, oh well, I'm gonna ruin it for you. He starts a master plot to help the world. He prevents war and starts peace by taking away tension between the USA and the USSR, and gives them a reason to join together against a different foe. In the process, though, he kills millions of innocent people. Millions to save billions. No one would've known it was him behind the plot, but Rorshach's journal got leaked...

Yes, he wouldn't have gotten the credit for the peace, and would have remained quiet about it. The first thing is, though, that he was already famous. He was very widely known. Second, is that he was trying to help a lost cause. I agree with what his intentions were...and though I could try and try to think of something to help people out more, why should I? I didn't cause any problems, humanity did. If I helped them out, they'd take it all for granted, and want more. Eventually, things would change back to how they were. "Nothing lasts forever."

I wouldn't want to help the world we live in. Everyone is more greedy and power-hungry than anyone could even imagine, and every single person is. Why would I want to perpetuate something like that, when it's something that will never change?

Straight Edge?

So, I was recently called xStraightxEdgex or something like that...I think that's how you do it. :P I was talking to a guy I know, in the army, Tyler. He used to be into all kinds of drugs and everything, and listened to all the hardcore music and stuff that I listen to, but completely against alcohol. Since he joined the army, he had to stop with all the drugs and everything, you know, so he picked up drinking. He got really bad with it for a while, but now has found a happy medium. He was shocked when I told him I have never done drugs, alcohol, or tobacco, and even prescription medications. He asked me if I put black x's on the back of my hands, too. I looked at him all confused, and just said, "huh?"

He says, "Yeah, aren't you straight edge?" I told him I wasn't, I didn't even know what it was...

I went back to my room that night and researched it. I guess it's a subculture of hardcore/punk music that's totally against drugs and alcohol, and tobacco products. A lot of people extend it to mean prescription drugs, avoiding casual sex, becoming vegan, and even avoiding caffeine.

A big sign to show that you're xStraightxEdgex is putting the black x's on your hands. This was started when bands played at clubs or bars, and the younger people who weren't allowed alcohol had to have the x's on their hands to let the servers know not to give them alcohol. One band picked up on this, and on the cover of the album showed 2 hands with the x's on them, and thus it became the straight edge symbol.

It's a good thing that the straight edge scene exists, and that people want to be a part of it. The problem I have with it is that a lot of people probably do it just to fit in somewhere. I guess I was "xStraightxEdgex" before I even knew it existed...why do other people have to want to be straight edge to stay away from harmful substances? I guess I just don't understand other people...Oh, and I'm also sure that there are people who put the x's on their hands just to fit in, when they are still doing all the drugs and alcohol, which is even worse...much worse.

So, what I'm saying is, is that I probably am now considering myself "xStraightxEdgex" but I'm not going to exploit it or feel the need to show it off to the world. I can be straight edge wherever and however I want, I will not fall into the conformity! :P