Zombies!!!

Dictionary.com:

Zombie: 1.(in voodoo)
a.the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.
b.the supernatural force itself.
2.Informal.
a.a person whose behavior or responses are wooden, listless, or seemingly rote; automaton.
b.an eccentric or peculiar person.

Vampire: 1.a preternatural being, commonly believed to be a reanimated corpse, that is said to suck the blood of sleeping persons at night.
2.(in Eastern European folklore) a corpse, animated by an undeparted soul or demon, that periodically leaves the grave and disturbs the living, until it is exhumed and impaled or burned.

First off, the zombie. Voodoo form is where some other entity has control over the physical body of a corpse. This body can do any physical act the contoller has over it. It has no other controlling factors besides the person controlling it. At no time does this definition say anything about infections.

The other definition, the informal variety, is a common every day occurrence. The person seems unresponsive, mindless, like they have no control over themselves. This is actually a very common thing, as people get used to their lives' schedule. Muscle memory will just pick them up every morning and get them through the day. This could also be said to happen when a person intakes certain drugs or medications. Also, many people who have actually lost control of their minds due to disease or disorders are referred to as "zombies."

Today's society depict zombies as cannibalistic monsters. Most of these zombies have become that way due to some kind of infection. Most of these infections are spread through the biting or scratching of the zombie. Then, in most cases, the human will die, and become reanimated with the same goals: destroy the rest of the living humans.

Zombies have become the stars of many films today. They are also present in a lot of video games. In most of these movies, the zombies are not controlled by anyone, they just roam Earth, feasting on human flesh. In the video games, they seem to do the same, except for Resident Evil 4 and 5. These 2 games seem to be kind of a medium between flesh-eaters and voodoo zombies. They're controlled by one man with the help of parasites, not magic.

Vampires. They were once dead, reanimated to feast on the living. Hey, wait a minute, that's what a zombie's supposed to do! The original depiction of a vampire, is actually how we see zombies, today. They were cannibalistic monsters raised from the dead to feast on human blood. Times have changed, more things began being associated with Vampires...turning into bats, sleeping in coffins, no reflections, creating vampires with a bite etc. A lot of these Vampire-stereotypes began with Bram Stoker's "Dracula." In fact, Count Dracula had nothing to do with vampires...he never drank blood, wasn't ever dead...he did sleep in a coffin, and no one was sure if he had a reflection or not, because he never kept any mirrors in his house. He never turned into a bat, just left rooms mysteriously. Honestly, the book could have been completely, 100% true. Just a story about a paranoid, partially insane man. What exactly is insanity? It's a topic for another day, that's what it is...

Daybreakers is one vampire movie that goes with both real traditional and modern traditional vampires. They're competent when their blood thirst is satisfied, and become crazed when it's not. They also end up exploding if shot, though...

Anywho, now we have the Twilight Series. It's an interesting twist on the new traditional vampires, where they become emo and attend high school. They have superpowers that are bestowed upon them when they are transformed into a vampire. They have laws to guide them so they are to not wipe out the human population. They live forever unless torn apart and burned, and gain more sensibility the longer they are a vampire.

Either way, they should all die...but seriously, if infectious zombies or vampires were on Earth, I believe we'd be screwed no matter what. All these movies and games aren't preparing you for anything. Why would shooting a corpse stop it? It's already a corpse. What's it gonna do, die again? Why is society so interested in watching the possibility of their fellow humans being ripped apart and reanimated to attack each other? What is with the obsession? It's because secretly, you are all zombies being controlled by voodoo. I'm gonna go lock myself on top of a gun store. For any of you who aren't controlled, I wish you luck.