I need to say put this somewhere

I used to be motivated and inspired to write, or to just freely think, by almost anything in this world. I used to think everything and everyone in the world was beautiful and precious, whether it was natural or created. Just the fact that it was able to exist, and the fact that I am able to exist, amazed me. After I started socializing with more people, though, I started to lose that spark. You see, everyone else seems to take everything that exists for granted. I suppose I just was surrounded by so much of it, that it clouded my vision. The worst part of it all is that now I have no pushing force behind me at all. I’m too busy questioning WHY we exist instead of appreciating my existence. I’m well aware of what I’m doing, but I can’t change it. I wish I could just find that momentum to push me in the direction I used to be heading. It feels like I’m so close, like I’m one slight breeze away from turning it around, but the breeze never comes. This is the most I’ve been able to write with any creativity in probably years, which wasn’t like me at all, before. It’s so frustrating to know what’s wrong with you, but what’s wrong with you is why you can’t fix what’s wrong with you. I need to be motivated and inspired in order to continue being motivated and inspired. I wish I stayed that way, but people had to bring me, not down to earth, but into a hole deep inside the earth, where I’m suffocating myself and making it worse with my own struggling. I wish I could just live, instead of worrying about how to live. I feel empty. I almost wrote that I need a purpose, but then I realized: I need to not worry about my purpose. I need to be free again...but where is the key to my chains? They seemed to just get tighter and tighter as time went on, but now I feel as if I’m getting some slack, and for what? Do other people have this struggle? I wish I were simpler. Complexity burns. Is something wrong with me, or is it everyone else in the world?